Tora the Demon Cat
by Mistlan
Summary: This takes place during my Kaiju Chaos storyline where Clarity ended up moving to Konohagekure. I decided to see how Clarity and Tsunade handle themselves after a little hell raised by Tora the cat.


**Author's Note:** I don't own Naruto, that wonderful piece belongs to Mr. Kishimoto, so a round of applause for him and his extraordinary awesomeness! Okay on to the story, this is Clarity's first time in a one shot. Technically she doesn't even live on the same continent as the Naruto characters but in this story I decided to stick her shop there. What makes it interesting is we've seen plenty of one shots with characters from A to Z. Yet there hasn't been with the little cat Tora playing a fundamental role in a story. Except maybe scratching up some poor genin's face. So, here you have it, Tora raising hell and Clarity digging herself deeper into her own pit of trouble.

**Tora the Demon Cat**

There's a legend that runs through town, all the way from the capital of the Fire Nation itself. Its yowls send the winds a howling. Its claws have clawed up many faces. Most ninjas look like hell after they deal with this monstrosity of a brown fur ball with a red ribbon on its right ear. I'm not talking about the most powerful Fuzz Fart known to man. I'm talking about a hissing old cat named Tora that raises hell in Konoha every Monday through Friday from nine to five.

It all started on a blissful afternoon in my art shop, The Art Gift. I was busy sitting at the front counter reading the newspaper over a cup of delicious Green Tea Latte. My waist length black hair dangled in its usual French Braid. I already put away the paint smock I use to protect my blue long sleeve wrap top and black thigh high pants with the red trim. I kept my black sandals by the door. What my raw sienna eyes couldn't help but trail was a bunch of kids in my shop window. The leaf hitai-ate, wireless radios, and they were zooming around town hiding behind things and people in a blur of speed.

"This is squad 1 to squad 2 do you copy."

"Target in sight. I repeat target in sight."

"Good," spoke the genin's Jonin sensei, "Target Capture."

ZOOOOM

MEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWRRRRRR

"Awww where'd she go?" cried a sleepy eyed kid with a runny nose and glasses, that's Udon.

"Stupid Cat." Moegi pouted, how she got her carrot orange hair into those two gravity defying pig tails beats me. She always seems to have this constant blush on her cheeks everywhere she goes.

"I told you we had him."

"We?" another kid growled, "WE?! C'mon man we found the cat first!"

"Yeah but you lost her first lunkhead." Konohamaru roared, spiky brown hair, small black eyes, with the way he acts he's basically a Naruto mini-me in hyperness and attitude.

"Say it to my face! Ya sissy!" The kid sneered.

"Why YOU!" Konohamaru growled

SMACK

"Konohamaru show some respect!" Moegi quipped, smacking him on the head with a chakra charged fist. Udon was looking left than right than left in utter denial at his two best friend's antics.

Okay, this was getting nowhere fast. I sipped my Latte as the soap opera of teen angst unfolded. Business was slow and this was the best thing I got to watch all day at first. I mean seriously, how many ninjas does it take to catch a cat? I mean it's not like the little darling keeps getting better at hiding. I never knew of her reputation until I heard the bells ring at my shop door.

"Hey you pretty little thing," I asked looking down in interest at the little brown cat before me, "How did you get in here?"

Tora, probably cocky about the fact she just duped a bunch of whiny kids, sat back on her haunches to lick herself. I stood and stretched Tora yawned and stretched. I went to move the paintings since cats like to claw. Just when I took a step forward . . .

TRIP

THUD

My face met the floor. Getting up was a chore in itself when Tora decided to waddle up onto my back and knead her claws into me. I waved her off and rolled into a sitting position. Tora in the meantime, found a nifty neat way to hang off my head. Well more specifically the top of my braid.

"OW! Off, off, off, off!" I yelped, gingerly unhooking Tora's paws from my head..

MEOWR

Tora tore across the floor. Her legs spinning out from underneath her. I lunged for the cat. Tora leaped and I slid into the supply room. The clang and clatter of art supplies going everywhere. Tora, yowling, dives for my paintings! My wet paintings! She tore through them like tissue paper. Yet still she ran ripping drawings. Her little blue and green paint covered pawprints were scattered all over from floor to ceiling.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty," I purred, not wanting to resort to force, "ps,psp,psp, here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty cat."

Tora climbed to the top of my shelves and hissed. Her face contorted into the demonic maw of a mal formed lion. I took up a chili fish ramen instant noodle cup; shaking the contents; calling Tora down, but nooo. She decided to jump the other way!

CRICK

. . . CRICK . . .

. . . . . . . CRICK. . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . CRASH!

My precious artwork lay in ruins. My DSLR camera lay asunder at my feet. My counter top, my nice glass counter top, a mess of glass, metal and paint mush. Yet, the dark is just before the dawn. I only wanted to make sure the cat didn't destroy my shop. Yet she SPILLED MY LATTE! The warm rush of blood lust heated the core of my stomach. I grabbed the nearest weapon I could find which happened to be a burlap bag. Tora cowered, arched her back, her eyes tearing at the blood lust and rage that seemed to seep into the glow of my raw sienna orbs.

"You . . . Messed . . . With my COFFEE!" I roared, attacked, and for a moment there the onlookers of several passersby covered their children's eyes and ears at the set of carnage they saw before them, "DARN SASSAFRASSIN CAT! WHEN I GET MY SASSAFRASSIN HANDS ON YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE BRISTLES IN MY NEW FAN BRUSH! YOU TOM TURKEY, SPOILED LITTLE DEMON SPAWN OF A HELL RAISED FURBALL!"

The results of that fight did not end well. The genin squads that came into report their mission a failure after the mysterious disappearance of Tora the cat were surprised to see a whole bunch of civilians lined up in front of the Hokage as well. The blonde headed Hokage, Tsunade, pinched her nose at the oncoming migraine. This was the twentieth complaint she's gotten of an insane artist disturbing the peace with the howling of a poor suffering kitty cat looming in the background. Tora's owner, Madam Shijimi, wiggled in worry like a mother whose baby ran away from home.

"Oh Mommy is so worried about her wittle Tora," Madam Shijimi cried, her expensive dress wiggling around her ample pudgy, pudgy, figure. She wore enough makeup that Nasa satellites could see her round face from outer space. Even her own children and grandchildren told her she was way too affectionate for her own good, I ought to know, her husband buys crayons from me on weekdays. "What is it that I do that makes her always run away?" Meanwhile I can just geuss the thoughts running in Team Ebisu's (Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon) minds.

_Gee Lady maybe because you squeeze him too much_, Konohamaru scoffed in his head.

_Madam Shijimi is just too overbearing,_ mentally added Moegi as she thoughtfully chewed her thumb nail.

_I'd run away too if my owner was that crazy cat lady, _Udon pondered, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

_It just goes to show how much of my training has rubbed off over the years! _Their jonin sensei, Ebisu, snorted as he used an index finger to push up his sunglasses in that fashion of reasoning he always has when he's perturbed which happens to be often.

CRASH

The door fell to the ground with a solid thud under my feet. People stopped to stare but I didn't stinking care. Yes my clothes got ripped. I had claw marks upon claw marks upon my scratches. A yowling bag of teeth stayed gripped in my right hand as I stomped over and throttled Madam Shijima with my left hand. I made sure my potter's grip left a nice little dent on her fat throat.

"Look you," I snarled, "I don't know what you did to turn your little brat of a cat into the spawn of Hades but the next time I catch your demonic hell spawn here again. I'm going to kill your cat and taxidermy her personally for a cold . . . Dead . . . _coffin._"

The shocked silence was so thick that not even the drop of a pin could break it. Madam Shijimi looked like she just swallowed a lemon that just would not stay down. Iruka placed his papers on the table, backed his chair up, and went to splash cold water on his face before sitting down to open a fresh bottle of sake. Kotetsu and Izumo traded flabberghasted looks. Shots of sake went around for most of the adults (not me) who were in the mood for sake. The kids jaw drop face faulted. Iruka was about ready to hand Tsunade his glass but she grabbed the bottle and took a long swig. Yup, it's official; I must've done something stupid.

I took a deep breath, exhaled, shoved the bag of screaming teeth into Madam Shijima's pudgy chest and said, "Now here's your hell spawn cat. I want you to pay these ninja for a job well done because if it weren't for them. You would paying for a lot more than just 300,000 ryo of damages to rebuild my shop. You know what, scratch that, I'm paying for it myself; might take a few years, but that's just fine. Just take your hell spawn of a cat and I hope you have such rotten stinking swell trip home."

"I can't believe it!" Konohamaru yelled, "Wait till I tell everyone! Clarity just yelled at the Daimyo's wife!"

Oh shoot I'm definably doomed. Tsunade stood up from her expansive desk. She strode forward. Her sandals reverberating echo on the solid wood floors. I stood my ground. There are times when every muscle in me screams to run, but I've already got a healthy fear of Tsunade. She'd beat me to a pulp in ordinary circumstances. What happened now however cut me to the core.

"You just jeopardized the relationship of the Land of Fire and the Hidden Leaf Village." Tsunade toned, "I hope you're happy."

"Of course any real civilian," Ebisu started but I cut him off with my hand to his lips.

"That's enough Ebisu," I murmured, "I know my place and I know my skills but right now I have my own mission to do."

I live by a few simple mottos. My number one favorite; No chances left untaken and no regrets. I'm not reckless mind you. I just don't like doing stuff that leaves me feeling guilty later. One minute I'm helping out my business partner, Murray, and the next I'm standing outside of the Hokage's office. When I found out Tsunade had left; I disappeared as well ducking the ANBU and the gate guards for yet another consecutive time. Yeah, everyone in the entire village were chasing a squirrel with a fake paper bomb crazy glued onto his back all except for a certain civilian who dummied up that diversion in the first place. A heated discussion ensued outside upon the opening of the Daimyo's door.

BAM

SLIIIIIDE

CRASH

I slid across the floor and straight into the Daimyo's fancy armchair, courtesy of Tsunade's fist. I grabbed the coffee table and hurled it. The table landed square on Tsunade's knees causing the buxom blonde to buckle.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE BRAT?!" Tsunade roared, the Advisors that were once clamoring for the Daimyo's attention ran helter-skelter for the nearest bomb shelter. The Daimyo stood in shock. Tsunade charged forward. I swung the chair around using its back to block Tsunade's fist. Bye-bye went the chair. I rolled on the balls of my feet as we circled.

"I'm here . . . To work off. . . My debt . . . And sweet talk . . . My way out . . . for Konoha" I answered, dodging punches between breaths. Now don't go looking at me like I'm some expert in taijutsu. I've been dodging lynch mobs and having comical near death experiences for over the past twenty years, basically I've been fast on my feet my whole life.

WHUMPH

Though . . . I _still_ can't take a hit as well as any ninja. It's just reality saying _hello _civilian alert! I'm only a mere mortal falling to my knees clutching my own broke ribs. Tsunade's a legendary combatant with decades of combat practice. Yes reality stinks and karma is a word I'm not going to say.

"You couldn't even walk five feet without getting into trouble Harpy." Tsunade yelled. I blew up at the mention of the H-word.

"YEAH WELL AT LEAST I'M ABLE TO SWEET TALK MY WAY OUT OF MY DEBTS UNLIKE YOU. YOU LEGENDARY SUCKER!" I screamed. We proceeded to a cat fight, rolling on the floor, kicking, cussing, screaming, and the Daimyo ordered himself a glass of his favorite sweet tea to sip; enjoying the show. We were already in the middle of pulling each other's hair before the sound of the Daimyo clearing his throat, shattered the mood.

"Gomen na sai Daimyo-sama." Both of us blabbed, jumping to our feet into a polite little bow. Tsunade had a ripped shirt, bruises and bite marks on the exposed portions of her arms. Her legs, just as bruised and some of her hair falling out of her pig tails. Myself on the other hand sported a black eye, a few bruised ribs, and basically the same look I had when facing Tora the hell spawn cat. Good grief if first impressions are everything, I think Tsunade and I just won the booby prize for making the Daimyo laugh his scraggy hinny right off his chair.

"I can't believe it," The Daimyo chortled, "I can't believe it. The famous slug sannin and the rumored spitball rolling like pigs inside my office?"

"Must I remind you," I calmly stated on cue with my most angelic grin, "That this is actually mild compared to our more violent fights where three quarters of the village was destroyed in a dodge ball game that could've made the great ninja wars look like child's play?"

"Oh indeed," Tsunade smirked mimicing the same angel face, "Maybe next time you could be in the middle of our cat fight. I'm certain Konoha General Hospital . . ."

". . . better yet the **morgue** would love to have a patron like you," I finished before blanching, oh man I did it again! Correction we just threatened the royal family. The Daimyo's a freaking conformist! The other countries where I did something like this decided to call it high treason and kill me. It was only pure luck my own self preservation talent kept me alive where I am today. Tsunade and I exchanged knowing nervous looks. Oh man I knew what was coming!

The Daimyo simply stood, strode over to us in his graceful royal fashion, and clapped both of us on the back saying, "Thank you for such a wonderful miracle."

"HUH?!" we both stammered. Our mouths hanging open enough for zeppelins to fly in. We clacked each other's jaws shut with the tips of our fingers.

I was the first to find the words to speak, "You . . . Were saying Daimyo-sama?"

"I've been trying to get Shijimi-chan to stop smothering that hell spawn tiger for years." The Daimyo whispered before saying aloud, "Thank you for finally getting my wife's cat to behave. It's been three days now and Tora still hasn't run away, a new record until next week anyway. I believe this miracle calls for a reward."

Tsunade's eyes held that hungry sparkle as soon as the Daimyo turned his back. Bad move, we were still in a life or death situation here. I didn't know if he was going to push a button and open a death trap beneath us. I elbowed Tsunade in the gut. It's a reminder to make sure not to ask for much especially when facing someone who could serve heads on a silver platter. No matter how wimpy looking he is writing a check for 600,000 ryo.

As soon as the Daimyo turned back around to hand me a check in his scribbled scrawling, Tsunade pushed my head down. She gave the Daimyo a fake little grin worthy of any ROOT ANBU operative. We left the scene with our lives intact. I let out a breathe I didn't know I had. Lots of times facing the most important people on the planet and coming out almost unscathed is the greatest reward money never buys.

I slipped the check into my wallet. I stuck my wallet in my shirt. Wait not down there! Tsunade giggled when I ducked into an alleyway frantically clawing at my shirt. Whelp, my shirt survived. I settled for the front pocket of my pants and kept my wallet there. We strode on in silence for a time before Tsunade broke the ice with her not so heated comment.

"So," Tsunade began in a sing song voice, "What are you going to do with the money?"

"Budgeting," I answered, no hesitation, "I mean, I've got some for the shop, I'm using the rest to pay bills you know, heating, water, boring stuff, and the rest I might just donate to charity."

"Aw c'mon!" Tsunade huffed, giving me a playful push, "Live a little, have some fun."

"You just wanna do another girl's night out!" I fumed.

"Uh-huh," Tsunade nodded, a fiesty grin plastered on her predatory face, "Yeah, it's gamblin' time." Oh yes, the last time we went to a girl's night out, both of us along with Anko and a few others hit the jack pot gambling and at the same time Neji's grandpa almost died of heat stroke. That's when I decided I'm never taking the Legendary Sucker to Las Vegas ever again.

"One," I toned holding up one finger, "We'll just split one bottle of sake and that's it."

"Aw you're no fun," Tsunade pouted, if she looked her real age, she wouldn't be able to jut her lip out like that, "Where's your sense of adventure. We ought to celebrate somehow."

"Hmmm," I pondered, "Well the leaf and suna ninjas are having a guys night out right here at the capital so I was thinking of helping Ibiki test out his truth serum. Not one of them are allowed to drink but there's going to be strippers and that night club has its own hot spring water supply. So whaddaya say we crash a party and get a few hormonally induced guys to say things they'll wish they never said?"

"Hmmm," Tsunade mock pondered, "This isn't something a Hokage should do. Awe screw it, I'll just say it was all in the sake of research."

Jiraiya, Kakashi and just about every dude you'd have wanted to see getting flustered were there. They were never going to look at their respective male buddies the same way ever again. Tsunade and I were tucked away in a corner chortling hysterically. Sure it's not a way to end a night. I've got a shop to rebuild. Shizune is going to pour loads of paperwork on Tsunade's desk same time tomorrow morning. Yet one thing was certainly clear. This adventure became our night out; our turn to celebrate.

"A toast," Tsunade cheered raising her Sake glass, "to Tora the cat."

"Oh yes to Tora the demon cat," I mused as we clicked glasses, letting our daily troubles temporarily disappear on the starlit night air.


End file.
